About those chips...

I never did order those labels, so they still look the same. I never tried to renegotiate the deal to let me play poker online for money (eventhough I think I've found my profit game, low blind, no-limit hold'em). And I doubt I will, what with the ridiculous Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006 and all. Of course, that doesn't prohibit me, or anyone else, from playing, or even gambling, online. But it does prohibit US banks from doing money transfers to or from online gambling sites. Of course, it's not that simple, but you get the main jist. Anyway, that makes it a lot more difficult to get money to and from the poker sites I would play at.

I'm still planning on getting those labels, though.

Good night.

Again.

Where am I?! Ping-Pong match!

Well, things have been quiet in my hometown of Lake Woeb---

Whoops! Better cut that out before I get sued. Not that anyone reads this. Obviously, since I haven't posted anything in over 16 months!

Well, for those of you who know us, we've been in Peru for quite awhile. We left there in December and we've been in California since then. We'll be moving on to El Salvador at the end of the month.

Last week we went to Tahoe. I went skiing for the first time in about 14 years (and the first time on a mountain). Calvin had his first skiing lesson and we all went sledding. The dogs had the BEST time playing in the snow. Of course, it was all we could do to keep them from running off into the woods! I also went to the casino and played no-limit Texas Hold'em. I won 400 bucks! Then I went the next night and lost $200. Still, I'm up $200! That's pretty freakin' good! I'll take it.

So, in other words, we all had a pretty good time.

So, I figured, since we were having such a good time, I'd start blogging again. Here's some of the things that have happened to me (or that I made happen) over the past 16 months:

• I learned how to surf!!!! That's a pretty big one. I both made it happen and had it happen to me. I made it happen by going down to the beach to take lessons. I hadn't called the instructor or made any arrangements to meet him there. I just figured I'd go down and talk to the guy. Well, when it came down to the moment of truth, I chickened out and walked right past him! I was about to totally chicken out and go home when the guy on the beach I had talked to moments before about taking lessons from this other guy pointed me out to him. So, I was forced to explain why I came down and why I didn't just say, "Hi! I'm Gram. I wanna take surfing lessons." I'm an idiot.
• I worked at the Commisary. Very exciting. It wasn't too bad. Until the cool manager left and I ended up working for... well, I'll keep this diplomatic. No comment.
• I stopped playing poker online so much. It's not like I was playing for money, and sitting on my ass all day only chatting with people I had never actually met face to face was literally driving me insane. By Thanksgiving 2005, when I took a trip back to Chicago and St. Paul, I was crawling out of my skin.
• We did some more travelling around Peru. We went back to the Amazon for our last trip. What an amazing place! Did you know that the Amazon has dolphins? And not just one type, but two! I've only ever seen a stretch of the river that takes 2-3 hours to traverse by speedboat. If you were to look at that stretch on a map of the continent, I mean a good sized map, the kind you'd fold out on the bed, it would amount to less than an inch. Probably less than a quarter of an inch. The river itself would be 2 to 2-1/2 feet long. I've seen less than a hundredth of the river and it took me 2-3 hours to cross. That's freaking huge! Like I said, it's incredible. Check it out.

Well, that's enough for now, I think. I'll write more tomorrow. Maybe it'll be something with substance, but I doubt it.

Good night.

The chips are here!!

Well, okay. They've actually been here for awhile. And I still have to send the check to my friend, Jason, who was kind enough to act as a reshipper for me since the place I got the chips from didn't ship to APO addresses.

Now, of course, as I'm sure it is with many of your lives, nothing in mine can go exactly as planned. Or even anywhere near it. My new chip problem is that they have defects. And not just one or two. Oh no. Of the 150 white chips, I counted out over 80 that I didn't like. Some had obvious manufacturing defects. Some were just dirty, but the dirt was embedded. The red ones had problems. The blue ones-- the blue ones had the most cracked chips out of all the colors. That's right, cracked! Okay, these are clay chips, after all. But still! Does no one check for quality anymore?!

So I got that to deal with.

Then there's the problem of me wanting to play poker online. For money. Yeah, yeah, I can hear some of you saying, "Online poker for money?! Are you crazy?!" Whatever. I don't need it from you. I get enough of that from my wife. Besides, I'm good at it. I aught to be. I play enough. Plus I'm signed up at this online poker school and I'm taking classes. That's right! Classes in how to play poker. It's not like playing craps or roulette, you know. You don't just stand there with a couple of six-sided random number generators (dice), hoping you make your numbers. Frankly, if that's your idea of a good investment, I've got land and stocks I'd like to sell you.

No, poker is different. I get to choose which cards I play, and which I get to throw away. And when to throw them away. And! if I want, I don't even have to play those cards. I could just play you. And make you think I played the right cards. I can't make you think I rolled the right number or the ball landed in the right box when it didn't. I can't make the slot machine believe that it hit three cherries and that it should pay me the jackpot.

But I can make you think that. ;~)

And that's one of the beauties of poker. That's what makes the game much less of a gamble than those other casino games. Sure, I can't always make you believe I have the best hand. Maybe you have the best hand and I'm making the stupidest bluff ever. But I can control that too. In poker, I control the money. Not the other way around. With craps and other casino games, the money's the thing. And it wraps itself around a man's (or a woman's) brain and takes over. The only thing that matters is making the big score. Take the long odds, it pays more. Didn't hit? Hock the wife's jewelry, she'll never know, because you'll hit it the next time.

Not so with poker. The money is simply a tool. A tool to control the other players. Into doing what, you ask? Well, giving you their money, of course! But it's the hunt that's drives the poker player, not just the clinking of the coins.

So, all that being said, instead of just going ahead and doing it, taking the plunge, and depositing money into an online account at some poker site, I thought I would do the honest thing first. (What an idiot!) But I was thinking that since all of our family's income was now coming from one source, and that source not being me, I thought it only right to try to negotiate out a deal with the wife for some money to start playing with. It didn't get that far.

More on this next time (I promise I will get to it quicker this time), because I have to go.

Until then, go about your daily, dreary lives! Thanks.

In the mean time

Okay, folks. I realize I really haven't written anything interesting yet, but I imagine it will come any time now.

Just wait...

Okay, well, now is not the time. BUT! I have added a link to Wil Wheaton's web site (yes, THE Wil Wheaton, who played that Wesley putz on Star Trek: The Next Generation) because, get this, he's a normal person. He likes The Simpson's and makes fun of himself. What's not to like?

So, while I don't have anything interesting to say yet, go check out his site. Then come back. I swear it's all gonna start flowin' any second now.

Just wait...

The Chips! Ahhhhhhh!

Okay, so, as promised, here is the design of my new chips.

Well, they won't look like this right away. In fact, the middle parts, where the fantastic design is, will just be the color of the stripes. With the exception of a small rectangular bit of the base color.

But! Eventually, I will order labels to put on each and every one (both sides) of the 500 chips I have ordered. That's 1000 stickers, ladies and gentlemen! And without the use of anabolic steroids.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Wow! First post. Whoopee.

I don't know how exciting another blogger entering the stage could be, but, like it or not, here I am!

Just in case you're curious, I'm an actor, husband, father, poker player, guitar player, lazy bum, kid in an adult's body, know-it-all, idiot. I suppose that could describe just about any one of you out there reading this. My interests range too far to be described here, or to hold me to any one job. Although, one came very close. I didn't get it, but that was for the best anyhow. More on that later, if I feel like it.

My initial interest in beginning this blog was to post pictures of my design for my new poker chips (which shall remain copyrighted to me, nobody even think about stealing it!). But something tells me it's going to grow into much, much more.

See you all real soon,
Gram